*(Note to reader: This post is merely for me to vent and feel better)
Today my husband and I were talking about Boston and somehow he convinced me to drop out of the bet that my boss put on for me (bet: my Boston time has to be within 40 minutes of this other super fast guy's Boston time, whose goal is 2:50) . Of course I know I could have dropped out all along, but for some reason I never felt like I truly could.
Although it seems so simple to you all, the decision was/is SUPER TOUGH for me. The guys at work keep asking about the race and keep saying that they know I'll win and whatever else. There's too much pressure. Tomorrow I'm going to email my boss and the fast guy and let them know that I'm dropping out. They can still compare our times but I know that guy will win.
Here are the pros to dropping out:
- I enjoy the race
- No pressure to run each mile at a certain pace
- Who cares if I go slow up those hills
- Take pictures during the race
- Drink beer during race
- Give high-fives to people and fans
- Participate with the fans instead of listen to my music, focusing on my time
- If I never do Boston again, I'll always have this good memory of it
Here are the cons to dropping out and the cons to not dropping out:
- Disappoint my boss and perhaps other coworkers (if I drop out ahead of time, or if I don't drop out and I lose)
- If I don't win the bet, I'll finish the race being disappointed and always have a negative memory of Boston
- The opposite of the above items will occur
Bottom line: (*again, I'm just saying this for my own sake) The day after I get back to work and tell people about the race, my coworkers will already have forgotten about the bet and whether I won. However, I will always have the memory and it's up to me as to whether it's a good one or not. I'm not a fast enough runner to both enjoy the race and run it super fast...I put too much pressure on myself. For that reason, I'm an ultrarunner.
AHH! It's still hard for me to get in the mindset that I no longer have to worry about my time, since that's all I've dreaded for the past four months! But as my husband said, I'd hate to waste this opportunity (that could be once in a lifetime for me) on this stupid bet and regret it forever.
Soo..just tell me that I made a good decision and all will be well.
8 comments:
Yay! This is DEFINITELY a great decision! Your pro list made me smile just thinking of the fun you'll have, I pictured you giving high fives. You're so smart to think about the lasting memory you'll have of this race and so smart to make it a positive one, no matter what. I'm so happy for you!
OK, here's MY disclaimer: after 23 marathons, I still don't have a BQ time so I don't know what it feels like to line up in Hopkinton. However, on vacation recently, we stopped by at the starting line en route to Cape Cod and I "dreamed" of being there someday in April. It's Boston, baby! I support your decision 110%! I don't get people who try, try, try to get to Boston then go there trying to PR. Who cares?! ENJOY it...it is THE marathon everyone aspires to go to and everyone knows, the crowds are awesome, the experience is 2nd to none, and who knows if you'll ever return...whether you qualify or not again in the future. By racing it you could turn a great experience into one where you're hanging your head low. Wouldn't that stink?! Plus, I can't imagine having music jammed in my ears at Boston. I'd be trying to soak in every sound and sight I could. And lastly, people at work DO NOT GET IT. Don't even try to explain it to them. "Did you win?" "How far is THIS marathon?" I'm guessing they really don't get you going for MO100. In their eyes, you've really jumped aboard the crazy train!
Have fun and bring back some great memories. If I were in your shoes, I'd be carrying my camera with a fully loaded battery and empty memory card.
HAVE FUN!!!!
Oh my goodness- thank you both so much for your encouragement!!
Heather- Thanks!! I thought you'd be happy. :)
Nick- You scared me at first. I thought you were going to say that I should try to race it. I'm soo relieved that you support my decision. You're right, people at work DON'T get it and I was already dreading talking to my coworkers about my decision...talking for 15 minutes to defend myself when they probably don't care or listen anyway. And no, I did not want to wear headphones either but I thought I had to since I was going to race it.
I definitely agree with both Heather and Nick 100%. Boston is a terrible course to try and run a fast time, much less a PR. I brought a camera with me and tucked it in my shorts. It's a good idea b/c if anyone is going to watch you it's pretty hard for them to see you much more than just the finish. Not sure what the temperature is supposed to be like, but it was freeeeezing at the start for us!! Depending on when you get there, you wait in a field behind this school for quite awhile. There's tons of people and they have food and drinks which is cool..it kind of feels like an Olympic Villge or something :) Also they give you a drop-bag where you can put your pre-race warm clothes in and pick up at the finish line. We didn't really trust this for some reason and were pretty cold waiting to start. But it looked like the process ended up being pretty reliable so might as well use it.
Anyways, enough rambling...HAVE FUN!! (and don't forget to drink some beer along the way!)
You did real good. LOL
Jeff- Thanks for the heads up. Any other information you have about the start would be helpful. I'll definitely bring warm clothes to wear. It's too bad I'll be sitting there by myself. You're lucky you had your sister.
Not much more to tell ya..Be sure to use the restroom a ways before the race starts b/c the lines were really long once they called the first and second waves to the starting line. And believe me, you won't be lonely before the race..there's TONS of people and everyone is just as excited as you to be there! I lost track of how many people from different countries I talked to. I sat next to a lady from Nova Scotia on the bus and talked to a guy from Argentina on the subway. Live it up...you're at the big show!! :)
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